Category: CRAZY

On a Battle Field

heyyyyyyy…..i know am popping in after like a year and few months….1stly i had no chance to blog considering the place were i was off to for a year….and as i had stop blogging for a year there was absolutely no motivation for me to go any further with blogging. blogging for me had become once my lil personal space where in i could so freely express myself without having anybody to judge me. It feels awesome to be back….and very recently a person very randomly asked me if i write. i was taken back for a minute cause nobody really shot a question like that to me before….all i get is do you read or do you workout to stay so fit and blah blah…but when she asked me if i write…i remember telling her i used to but stop since i didnt know what to write. she motivated me to start writing cause its not that everybody gets to pen down how they feel and what they think….and tada here i am.

life has been so touch after i got back. am on a spiritual war with myself. i don’t know what to do or where i stand. i feel so lost and deserted. its like there is so much i want to do…but am lazy. can a human be so lazy…laziness at its heights. so i know i have gone down in my prayer life…the minute my connection with god is off doubts start pouring in about my faith, i question myself, take things very light.. more like a danger point.

lord i wonder why i go through all this. i have seen u work wonders and i know your love for me will neverdie but why all this confession and mood swings. all i wish now is to connect back with him. i miss you so much. i know your there watching my every step listening to my every thought but still why is this dryness in me now.

154.365 Oh God, Where Are You Now?

154.365 Oh God, Where Are You Now? (Photo credit: ashley rose,)


When i was lazying around one fine afternoon my brother happened to play this absolutely beautiful music which struck me really hard. I dont mean like the hard bad way but in a way that so took me deep into thoughts. We all think about something or the other always. and for me at that very minute my mind just traveled straight into my college days. I must say, music really has its own profound ways of getting us really nostalgic. When i had my colleges days flashing like a slide show through my mind i suddenly went back to the 1st day i stepped into college. All my fantasy’s about college was all based on the varrious movies that i had watch couple of times. New surroundings, new faces, teachers, more over a co-head classroom not to mention i did my schooling from girls only. When it comes to meeting people and socialising, it was always a piece of cake for me. But getting the rite kind of friends and getting into the kinda circle that i could blend in is something which doesnt happen over the night. Well to my shock as i stepped out of the college chapel i randomly redieved a hug and all i know is for a second i was totally stund because i heard a guy call out my name and the next minute i know is him giving me a hug. I know personally i was haapy that finally there is somebody i knew but then i didnt really want that hug cause i knew many people would be oggling at me with their eyes and that was enough for bbc hot news to flash around college like wild fire. Well i don’t really have to mention how “broad” minded the poeple out here in kerala are to actually accept two friends of the opposite sex giving a hug.

Then i walk into class and it didnt feel all that awkard cause i had a friend of mine with me. But again i had to keep myself away from him for a while so that i did’t give a bad impression to the class crowd rite away on the 1st day of college,andΒ  thats something now i am least bothered about. Really if we start to care whatever people say about us, then what are our lives for, to be lived dictated by others or to be lived by the way we want it and the way we feel is rite?? okay am not getting there now. So then started my hunt to find the rite kind of people or the ones whom i could say connect with on every level. It wasnt really a easy job like it sounds because there were many people from different walks of life. In a month or 2 we had a small circle formed. Most of us in the gang were NRI’s so you know it was easy for us to connect and have our kind of fun. We all had emmense fun together thou there were a lot of bitching involved in between.

Things took a turn when couple of us got into relationship and things weren’t really the same as before. It sounds silly know but ya then it was one time when we whined over our guys if they say i love you, silly fights, late night chats and crying over silly but million break ups that came in between, and the end results was heart breaking. All of us got out of our relationship at one point one after the other. That was like a serious depression fever that had spread among us. The minute one steps out all fine and good the other one gets the fever. Lol this kept happening until we all reached a point were we knew we were the best ourself. It suprised me very much when i slowly started noticing how people around started changing and showing their true colours.The change was more noticed during my last two sems in college. Friends whom i thought were all that just turned out to be rite the opposite. So many occastions kept happening when i myself had to take a step back and think whether these people whom i called my true friends, did they really turn out to be like this???

But then not everybody turns out to be bad. We often tend to over look the goods ones we have and turn to the bad ones untill we all get a bad knock on our head and realise whom really cared and didnt. Well one such personality was roshni.:D Thou we were in the same gang we weren’t really close or lets say intimate. She was one among those very few girls that really caught my attention when we had an ice breaking section at our hostel, and man should i say from then on she has always been a regular visitor to my room, explains clearly how she got into my small circle of friends. Things changed this year for us. New year night was like a whole new chapter for both of us. lol it was the the the best new year of my life. The ultimate bash ever, and this is what got us really really close.

Roshni is like my bff now. I didnt know we would ever get this close. She is one person who has never ever told me to change and accepted me for what i am. Sometimes its takes us a while to really know who our true best friends are, and for me she is one of the best things that has happend in college. Times we had together these 4 months are like memories enough to teasure life long. If there is somebody whom i miss so much from college would be her and vipin an other best friend of mine, or i should say the male version πŸ˜›

Me and roshni had this very naturally occuring ritual of fighting every week. I my wildest memmory i don’t think we have been through atleast one week without fighting. Its true when people true love and care for each other fights happen but in our case it was something which kept happening on like a weekly bases. The best of the best times we shared together were in Goa, sluber times at my place, b’day suprise which was a really big suprise for her and all our crazzy late night talks and either of sleep taking while the other one is awake…lol πŸ˜€

I know it sounds lil chessy but this is exactly what i miss and what i thought when i heard that music. I miss her and yeah clearly it shows cause i ended up blogging about her….hehe lets just assume that some really beautiful people ( beautiful by heart ):P are worth blogging and not that she doesnt look good her eyes are killer…but then again i shouldnt let her fly too high as i know by reading this she must have already banged her head on the ceiling. πŸ˜€

lol k so here you go roshni i dedicate this post to you, not because your my best friend which definitely you are but for being my the best friend…and being there for me always and for being that one person to whom i would run to even if it was 3 a.m when you must be having one of those fantasying dreams about whoever πŸ˜› jus kidding!!! But leme tell you are the best and be the best where were you go.

Sometimes writing is the one best way to convey what is really in your mind than talking it out. I started of with music and here i ended up blogging on my best friend. I bet like me there must be someone who must have touched your heart in some way, let me tell you guys, never ever lose them, how much of a bad or good reputation they have if they have been with you through all the thick and thin then they are just the rite people who no matter what will always stay at your side πŸ™‚

Roshni here goes my teddy blog cyber hug for making all those worthless days of mine simply perfect xoxoxo πŸ˜€

So guys who are you gonna give a teddy cyber hug or lets say a real teddy hug too πŸ˜‰

πŸ˜€ and here i come….i know its been quite some time since i showed up here. Everytime i think i should blog something or the other comes up. Now as mom and sis has left to banglore for her admission i guess i have all my time to sit peacefully and write something, which still i have no clue on. Well if i start i feel super frustrated for being stuck in india for a whole month with absolutely nothing to do. All i have done is meet relatives which am really not a big fan of. Am already going crazy as once i get back to dubai there lot of thing to do and friends to meet up with. If i ask my dad whether the tickets are booked yet all he does is yell back saying “why cant you be little more patient and wait till your sister gets her admission done, i know all you wanna do once you get back here is meet up with your friends.Is that all your concernd about”and then he ends it by saying next week lets see. Ya ryt next week!!!!! So tell me how am i to stay at home in peace when my dad alone isnt sure as to when we should get back. Home can be amazingly boring and once boredom hits me then it drives me totally insane like how i am rite now.

Well i didnt mention ryt in a couple of weeks am off to thailand for my 1 month training. Its a training for those who are taking up 1 year commitment for jesus. Woow i myself was shocked when i actually made up this decision to go for fullertimer so were my friends not to mention that cause a person like me going for such a things was shocking πŸ˜› . Knowing the risk of being alone for 1 whole year and hearing different stories from people who have gone for it sometimes makes me wanna withdraw from it. My plan for my future had nothing that involved fullertimership. I wanted to complete my MBA probably by working and study back in dubai and have all the fun that i missed this 3 years.Β  But i guess this is what god had planed for me. I believe in my case how much ever planing i do something that is meant to happen will only happen.The best thing is to just accept it.Β  Making decision in my case is the most difficult thing ever. As of for now i have decided to go for the training. You have no idea how clueless i am. Am going with 2 friends of mine and we will be joining the jesus youth international team once we land at the airport. The very thought of it gives me goosebumps as to being at a new place a totally new crowd, its another country and the inquisitiveness to whats awaiting me there is killing me. Its all a big suprise. Unless i get back to dubai and have a word with a close friend of mine (rony) who is also an x fulltimer i dont thing i will have any peace of mind. Sometimes its so that we just get worried, be it a small thing which might sound absolutely silly to others.

The challenging part is after the 1 month training we get back to dubai and within 15 days you get your country were you will be working with the missionary for 1 year. OMG 1 year. You can get any country and be there on your own. Thats really challenging as it could be a another country were there will be lots of difficulty in copying up with lanuage, not all places do people speak fluent english. I dont think in my life i have ever taken up such a huge responsibilty where in all my action and words will be taken into account. I got couple of feed backs from those who have gone for this earlier and there have been cases where people have droped half way and gone back home but those who have taken it up and lived through have been blessed and rewarded. But i guess am determine to stay up for it. I mean i wanna know what life could be out of the comfort zone. Recently i have got so used to mom being around and she with all her mumminess of geting things perfect that even if am messy she does my work. I know being a big girl ( or thats what people say) i still cant imagine being away to a total strange place for a whole year.Even though i seem to be prepared there still a bit of scaryness remaining

I should probably see it as a whole new experience, as at some one point i will have to live my life alone. But i really dont get it as to why do i feel like chikking out now. I really dont get it why am i so nervous and scared by the whole thought. While chatting with rony last night and he told me i should be open and ready to face anything. We should have the attitude to change ourselfs for good rather than trying to change the world.

Hmmm i know i have been talking a lotta crap and about me being nervous but i guess i should let it out somehow. As of for my best friends are all back to dubai and am probably the only one stuck up here all bored and jobless to death.

I really don’t know whatelse to write and this is what i feel and i guess i cant go creative as of for now my mood is really really off. I know i sound depressing and not all that enthusiastic as it might sound from my previous post, but i believe this is my lil space where thoughts should pour out and feelings should be voiced πŸ™‚

I guess am better now maybe this is what exactly i should have done couple of days back πŸ˜€ just write down whats in my mind and get it done with.

Well i hope this phase of mine will get over soon and probably write something better and one more thing am happy which i cant really mention here πŸ˜› but jus know am happy about smthng smthng πŸ˜› lolzzz

ollllaaaaaaaaaa πŸ˜€

and there am back after a very longggg break!!!!!

Its really been a crazzy 3 weeks with a lotta things haapening around….finally am done with college and now its time for me to take a long long break before i start cracking my head into something probably serious or atleast thats what i think i should do πŸ˜› provided the fact that am a grown up ” in the eyesof others” and time for me to be all serious and stuff. Okay leave that behind…now when its comes to blogging there were actually a lotta things that i wanted to blog on and not to mention my extra socialising nature never really gave me the time to actually peacefully sit and blog….Damn!!! sometimes i really envy my close frends who blog daily…maybe i should make this one of my regular habits now πŸ˜›

so one afternoon while random googling and browsing i had this sudden intution of why not post on some of the struggles females face when it comes to love and relationship. We all look out for the one factor love and mostly we tend to look out for them in the wrong place. Many have experimented it with sexual relationships in the past. Well there are some myths that we believe and end up in such a messed up situation. So well am gonna share some myths that i feel the reson why most of ur end up in relationship.

  1. Flirting is okay.

We all think flirting is fine, but we never reaslise how much inappropriately the opposite person might be taking it. Everything starts for a jokes but it all ends up in serious trouble. Letting a boy or girl know that you are intrested in a more meaningful relationship with him is one thing, but inappropriately flirting, which can also be called “teasing” or “seduction” is another. Should you really stir up a person physically and mentally if you have intention of pursuing a relationship with him??? So just by being flirty and seductive won’t really get you anywere if you really want to grab some attention then keep your passion check, do yourself a favour and choose your words and actions wisely. πŸ˜€

2.Β  I need a boyfriend to feel as if am “somebody”. Having somebody will solve all my problems.

lol…Newsflash!!! if you really think you need someone to complete yourself like how you see in movies “you complete me”! then listen, no human can complete you. Yet young people try with all the power to find that special someone who will make them feel as if life is really worth living (as if living as a satisfied single person isn’t possible).

So for people who are still in the fairy tale land waiting for their prince charming to come and sweep them of their feets, well some advice for you. Do yourself a favour and get a life!Its time you face the reality and recognise who you are then do your best being that person. πŸ™‚

3.My love will save him. I can change him.

Never make the mistake of dating a guy who needs some repair work before you could consider him marriage material. Many young women are drawn to this concept in molding the man to what they really want them to be. The truth is, its not really gonna happen. Instead you can pray for guys who have a lot of growing up and changing to do before you could consider them marriage material.

4.I feel so sexually tempted,IΒ  must already be guilty, so why bother resisting.

Satan loves to use false guilt onΒ  us,convincing us to cross the line between temptation and sin with thoughts like these:

  • You can’t deny that you want him. So why not go behind him.
  • You’ve already gone this far u might as well take the next step.
  • He already knows who you reaally are, so there#s no point pretending to be a goody two-shoes.

These are some gulit thoughts that we get which tempt us to sin. But don’t forget you are just tempted to sin, you havent commited a sin yet. Being sexually tempted is totally natural but the problem comes when we start to act over them. The best we can do is bounce back the temptations that pop into us and indulge into something creative.

Well i guess i have made my point clear πŸ˜€ so the best thing we can do is play a safe game. Love yourself and discover ways to improve yourself rather than trying to make somebody else better. Others life shouldnt really be a matter of much concern to you. If you go out there saving every soul that you get close to then who will save yourself πŸ˜€


hi hi hi….i knw its been a long tym again…u knw its pretty hard to really keep up to your daily routine specially when you have a lotta stuff happening one after the other. Well in my case its better not to ask. You really don’t know the pain of walking pass someone who knows you so well and acts like a perfect stranger,pretty strange isnt it. May it be your best friend ( atleast you thought she was) or your lover or anybody for that matter happens to bump on to you and when you know there has been a distance which has been formed unknowingly it hurts, somewhere within us even if we deny it. I have been in kinda the same plot for a couple of days now. Since its the end of my college days, these are the times when best friends and couples cling on to each other more….but for this college i see only couples cling and for best friends, they are more or less like strangers now. How ironic can this get. Seriously am little bit pissed of down here, seriously there is no problem that cant be solved, and i really don’t understand why people here fancy walking around with big faces expecting others to understand whats in their mind!!!!! ya ryt do wereally that? how better is it when you just sit and talk it out.

Seriously what do you get from holding up grudge a walking around when there will be a time where even if you want to you can not be with them. Life is short and so is time. Make yourself and others happy and stop drooling over problems and thinking it over and over and making it a big issue. I know all this sounds really emotional but when i look around thats all what i see…lot of emotional and provocating stuffs. Even if you want to come up with somethings really creative it just wouldnt happen here because there are a lot other powerfull things to pull you down.

Phew πŸ˜€ k i guess i feel a lot better now. Its like i so badly wanted to just share whats inside me,Β  which apparently is not possible in college cause many questions will pop up, and am seriously not in a mood to reveal who that person is.

I bet we have all had our fair share of misunderstanding and fights with are dear and loved ones, but how would it feel if you were the one to always approach them to solve it out and you see no movement from the other party? Won’t you be like WTF!!!!!!!!!!! yeah and thats how exactly i am right now!!!! seriously dont you wanna make an approach and tell me whats going on???its like these are days when we know there is so much to say and share but we prefer being alone. A lot of people choose being lonely and just be to themselfs. But you don’t realize how much it affects the others who were with you all through and when you suddenly avoid them. its not a funny joke to be avoided or even feel that way when you have people around. Seriously let me ask you one simple question, why do we call some people speacial?? easy cause we really like them. Do you go out to the street and shout at some random dude saying he’s speacial to you? no you dont. So if we say or make people feel speacial its cause we really want them. Will we ever ditch them cause of some mood swing that you’ve got or because of some issues that might be personal???

seriously hellloo knock knock m your best friends there’s nothing like that i don’t know about you that is keeping you away from sharing going on…..:s

Sometimes people just need to get it the hard way to feel what the others went through and if thats what they choose then there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, just let them get a taste of their own medicine. As simple as that πŸ˜‰

Hmmmm I really hope this comes to an end atleast before leaving college. I really dont want things turning up bad bad…or lets just say its 13th friday…maybe somebody just jinxed me witha bad day πŸ˜› anwaysΒ  am winding up here…i will surely get back with something really good probably the next time i pop in to my blog.

adios πŸ˜€ keep rocking!!!!



Happy Astrology day everyone πŸ˜€

Today while reading through an article on International Astrology Day….i came across this very interesting link which said “sun signs and kissing” this suddenly caught my attention and i thought maybe i should post it here. You know we all have different ways of kissing.Β  Some are passionate, some give deep and heartfelt kisses, some are meaningful like it feeds your feelings and so on……

Well here comes some interesting facts on different sun signs and kissing.

Lets start of with my star sign first πŸ˜€


Libra natives are known for their balanced, polished ways.Β  No wonder, they make elegant but cautious kissers. A need to please everyone may make them very worried even while kissing. Romantic Libras need to let-go while kissing, if they are to enjoy the experienceΒ  completely. πŸ˜€ soooo trueeee



Taurians enjoy deep, heartfelt kisses, which promise more than just a fling. Not the ones to appreciate superficial feelings, they are sensual beings, and their soulful, sweet kisses are bound to linger on their lover’s mind for a long time.



True to their nature, Arians prefer quick yet rapturous and passionate kisses that will leave them and their partner asking for more, and the temperatures soaring! The loving Aries will love it even more if their partner is equally enthusiastic in romantic overtures.



Most Geminis love to talk. Communication is their life line. Thus, don’t be surprised if your Gemini lover talks, giggles, comments, jokes or even babbles while kissing! Ignore the initial distraction, and soon you may see your kiss turning hotter and meaningful. Reciprocate with an equal zest, and be ready for fireworks! : )



Sensitive and caring, Cancer natives like their kisses to be like their personality – warm, loving and soothing. Smothering their loved one with deep, lingering kisses is a sacred art to them, one rarely found with any other zodiac sign.



Royal, arrogant Lions, like all things, prefer their kisses hot, sizzling and wild! Ardent and courteous lovers, they prefer treating their loved ones regally. And, they demandΒ  equally ardent attention from their partner. Hence, a kiss is an event that has to be made special each time it’s attempted. After all, a Lion’s amour is well known!



Virgo natives, like their basic nature, enjoy soft and gentle kisses. They themselves are soft kissers, and it’s the quality that matters the most to them. Caring to the core, Virgos love to cuddle and run their fingers through their lover’s hair as they seal their beloved’s heart with a loving kiss!



The Scorpio passion and drive are inimitable. Hence, when a Scorpio kisses, the result is simply sizzling, a definite turn on. Their partners, however, will need to keep pace with these frenetic, frenzied beings. Plus, many Scorpios may always be in a hurry, so their quick kiss may often be a brief prelude to the next, more important level.



The otherwise self-absorbed Archers are quite loving and considerate when in love. Same applies to their kissing quotient. Adept and sensual kissers, they know how to impress their partners. And, if the partner happens to fuel their ego by reciprocating with an equal enthusiasm, things may really heat up!



It’s rather difficult to estimate how hot and intense an otherwise prim and proper Capricorn could be in matters of love and intimacy. Their lucky partners are in for a real treat, when a much-in-love/ lust Cappy sets down to kiss. The sublime intensity and sensuality of their kiss can simply be surreal.

Capricorn Zodiac


An Aquarius is often alleged for being flippant in his/ her approach. The fact that theyΒ  prefer keeping their eyes open while kissing may further that belief. But, that’s how they like it, short and sweet. They do appreciate intensity, though, so in such times, it’s like messier the better for them!


The true romantics of the zodiac, Pisces natives prefer long, sensuous and dreamy kisses, and are sure to be hugely flattered if their feelings are reciprocated. They are wonderful kissers, and take their own sweet time to exchange big, amorous kisses. Never in a hurry, kissing may be like an independent act of passion for them.


Sleep sleep till you wake.
let not not destroy your day,
May love come your way,
but let it not destroy your day. πŸ˜€

People might think am crazy
but i guess am too lazy.
To think of something dazy 
cos what i feel now,
is something really mazy πŸ˜›

When was the last time 
you wrote something so bizzare 
were you just let words pour
that became a pool,
of full crazzy and funny lines.

I say.....
Go wild and smile wide.
Show the world your 
crazy side. πŸ˜€

Halleluiah, i finally posted it.This is how officially crazzy i get. As my best friend roshni,
Β after reading this told me am officially crazy,thought that could be the perfect heading for this little masterpeice of my total hardwork. :P. 
Special thanks to roshni for moral support in posting this  
she's another master in total creative and crazy writing. πŸ˜‰
officially crazy
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